It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
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