I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
