i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Randomize
