dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
