okay pat passed out under dana's car
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
