the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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