I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I deserve to be covered in dicks
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize