so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
