I just made out with a guy for $7.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
