my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
i now understand why vodka
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
