K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize