well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
