He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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