So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
