He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
