whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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