im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
