dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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