You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
