Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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