I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
