My friends, they love my intelligence
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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