Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
