My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
