so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
