I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
