Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
