Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
