careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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