somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize