I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
