the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
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