it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
