The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
