I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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