just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
