i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
