I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
