The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
i out mim tonsoeep
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
