You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
