I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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