Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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