I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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