Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
