At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
This is the prime rib incident all over again
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
