I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
