1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
