Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
