i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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