I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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