She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
