Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
