Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
