He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
