Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
