I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
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