Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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