it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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