well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
