Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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