i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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