Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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