the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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