I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
