YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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