good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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