I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize