Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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