Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
