when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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