I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
