just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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