im drinking this country out of the recession.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
