non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
just found out that she named her cat after me.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
