yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
