Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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