bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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