She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
