Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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