I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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