I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize