I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
